I am here, once again, to start writing again. To who? Anyone that wants to read and realize that they are not going through BS and issues alone. It has been a long time since I've written anything and right I feel that I should start writing it down because if I don't I may hurt someone's feelings. Not intentional but because everything is so bottled up I may just explode on someone that doesn't deserve all of my frustration. Those that have been there know what I mean.
Family will kill you quicker than a stranger, and ten times as sneaky. They are what I call silent killers. They are in your space everyday and one day...dead. Heart attack? Who knows, do they care? Nope. All they are going to worry about is that policy they took out on you a few months before you kicked the bucket. Why are they this way? Why is it that they are so fast to hurt you? Jealousy? Envious? Whatever the reason they will turn their backs on you and not care about your well-being.
I have been through my share of family ups and downs and although I have wanted to fire a few bullets at a few of them I still care for them. Sometimes anyway. *laughs*
It has been such a terrible year for me that I didn't know what I was going to do. Things are still not perfect, but then again no one's life is right? I was so depressed and stressed that I just fell into this slump to where I felt unattractive. That I would not be what a man was looking for. I have had a few guys that were only around to "play" and they are now in the past. *Thank you assholes for your consideration.* I have found my way of letting go of them, reminding myself that there is a reason they are in my past. There is a reason that they are not the ones that have my heart. Because they are not THE ONE for me. I also think that I needed more growing on my part. I have done a lot of that over this past year. I still have a way to go but I am better than I was.
And that is a good thing!
